Choices

There are days when I feel lifeless. I feel completely dead inside, and it's something I have dealt with my entire life. It's as if there are weeds that wrap around me and keep me paralyzed in a state of utter dispare. It lasts for a day, sometimes shorter and sometimes longer...but the thing that always brings me back out of it are words. There is a release to identifying in words that which weighs on us, that which keeps us up at night, and that which keeps us from doing the things we love. It's a choice we have to make, as everything is in life. Things happen in life that move us, that force us out of our darkness. For me, it was an anniversary.

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There is a day that will go down in US history as the day our country was violently attacked, and we as a people were brought together by our connection as human beings. It was the day colors disappeared, differences melted away, and we as Americans were all the same. It was a brutally painful day, but it forced us to love one another. We spend so much time blaming one another, hating one another, and fighting to get above one another. We forget that we were all created the same. We have the ability to love, to hate, to learn, to laugh, and to cry. We have the ability to crash planes into buildings because we don't agree with one another...we have the ability to kill because we feel superior, we have the ability to think we are entitled. The thing we forget that should be considered above all else is that we have a choice. We have a choice in how we live, how we react, and how we deal with all of those bold instincts that were instilled in us. I don't believe we were created to be peaceful creatures. There is a reason we know how to hate and how to kill. The reason is because someone, somewhere, also gave us the ability to choose not to do those things. It's not supposed to be easy, but it shouldn't be that hard either.

That day in history is 9/11. We all know it so well. Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of that fateful day. This year it was different for me, because I stood 14 blocks from where that fatal event took place and I looked down the street. Five years earlier I would have been covered in dust and surrounded by a screaming mass of people who were utterly human. The question that needs to be posed, aside from all the arguing and the vast measures to increase security...have we changed as a people in the world? Do any of us see that we are small, but we are big enough to have the mere ability to choose?***