Hopelessly Hopeful

There's something undeniably frustrating about having hope. Sometimes I wonder if it all would be numbingly easier to just not believe.

I do though. I believe everyday.

I wake up. I come to work. I do what I have to do to get through my day all the while knowing inside of myself that this is not what I am supposed to be doing, and feeling that there is so much more in my future. I just have to keep moving, keep living, believing that one day I will just see what it is my next move should be.

We are hopelessly hopeful. Is there really any other way to live though? It's the thing that makes the bad not as bad, the disappointments not as life-altering, and the bitter a little less bitter. We hope against all hope that tomorrow will be better than today. Regardless of the odds or the circumstances, we hope. Without it we would be found clinging to our downfalls and inevitably motionless. It might be bad, it might feel like the absolute hardest thing you have ever gone through. After all, people die, things change, and life can knock you off your feet from time to time.

We still hope that things will get better. We believe with everything that we have that we will figure out a way to make things better. We believe not only that there is an end to the tunnel but that there is a light that is shining to lead us to it.

In this moment I am clinging strongly to the hope that I have always had deep within me. Even at my worst, I can honestly say the thing that kept me hanging on was hope. I will push hard enough to take whatever the next step has to be as I have always done. It might take courage and it might be gut wrenchingly real and painful, but that's the epitome of change. It's uncomfortable, it takes effort, and we can't forget that in the end the new becomes old and there is something else we are reaching for. We won't ever survive if we don't overcome the cataclysmic events that life can throw at us. We'll never survive if we don't allow ourselves to indulge every once in a while. We'll never survive if we don't walk down the street with our heads up, feeling like we could take on the world. In essence, we'll never survive if we don't get a little drunk on hope every now and then.

Seasons change, so do jobs, cities, our circumstances in life, and the state we are living in. What doesn't change is our hope in everything that we are and everything we will be. It's our hope that remains constant, and if we are very lucky, the people we share that hope with.

Like I said, it might be easier to not have any hope at all. It feels so good when we do though. It feels even better when we reach the thing that we were so desparately hoping for. Besides, it's usually not the things in life that are easy that make us unspeakably happy.